Hello, my name is Lazy Political Participant. I want to seem like I am doing my duty by paying attention to the government of my country, but really, I just read gossip and the titles of the articles that my friends post, though I will catch Fox News when I have a chance, after all, the rest of media likes to lie about our President. I tend to take this gossip, news, and the titles as god’s honest truth, mostly because they make sense to me, and since I actually have no idea how our government works, they need to tell me what to think.

Conspiracy theories are pleasing to me. Instead of believing, the already horrifying truth, I prefer to believe the darkest background ideas that lean more towards a fantasy novel or a scary movie. Someone once told me that reality was what I made it, and I choose to make it whatever the trending idea is on twitter or facebook.

I do not realize that Illegal Immigrants are completely ineligible for welfare unless they have anchor babies, and even with anchor babies, only the mother’s can stay, and they receive the same amount as any other poor person, especially since Trump told us they are stealing everything from us.

I absolutely refuse to believe that people on welfare actually only take less than 10% of my taxes, I would rather believe they take the 37% that really goes towards the politicians salaries, pensions, vacations, and health care, afterall, we all need someone to blame, and I would rather blame the people the media has made me believe are buying lobsters and steaks with their food stamps instead of realizing that the illegal drug trade is not so large that every single person on food stamps participates.

I have a very hard time believing that a black man ran our country well. I am a closet racist after all, where I yell that I am in fact not even remotely racist, I am still scared of black people and lock my door the second I see one walking down the street, and believe that they are all secretly carrying guns, in gangs, and doing drugs. We won’t even get into Muslims, we all already agree that terrorism is literally in their blood. They are born that way, they can’t help it, that’s why I stand by leaving 4 year olds to starve to death, they have a 99% chance of growing up to be terrorists!

I believe that every single vagina in the world is my business, it is our god given duty to make sure we monitor what comes in and goes out of other people’s vaginas. I think that every single woman in the world should have a baby if they are so callous as to have sex with their husband, they do not need birth control or abortions, even if they are going to die without it, because we all know that only whores use birth control or have abortions, even though the percentage for upper middle class and middle class abortions among women between 22 and 25 make up the majority of abortions. That is really just fake news.

I need you to truly understand that in my world of news titles and media gossip, the only thing that really matters is that we build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. I do not realize that we can no more make Mexico pay for it than I can make my neighbor pay for my fence, or even build my fence. The only way import prices are going to go up, which you can not even prove they will, is if Mexican’s are so hateful they raise them, then we should punish them for doing that. Even if you tell me that 84% of our corporations mass produce in Mexico and sell under the title of ‘American Made’, I won’t believe you, because I was asleep in my geography class when they taught us that Mexico is in Central AMERICA. They are NOT in America, they are in Mexico, duh!

I also understand where you fail to realize, that anything positive that happens in the country from Jan 20th on, is in fact the work of Trump, for instance, he has already reduced our national debt, even though NONE of his fiscal policies will affect it until the end of the fiscal year. Everything negative of course is left over from Obama’s failed policies. I also wish you would understand that anything that Trump does that causes, for instance, a spike in gas prices, like we are seeing right now, are actually Obama’s fault because he told them to raise the gas prices and have nothing to do with the repeal of Frank Dodd.

I do not understand why you people can not accept the fact that everything in the media, except what is Pro-Trump of course, or is on Brietbart or infowars, is fake, they want to lie and turn you against the President because it serves some, yet undetermined, nefarious purpose. I am pretty sure that purpose is the take over of the country by the liberals, because, um, I don’t know, ask Bannon.

I think that everyone should leave the government to figure out what is best for us. No one knows how the government works, they just do the best they can!

Get over it crybaby, snowflakes, let me complain about you practicing your Freedom of Speech, because your Freedom of Speech is totally neil and void if it is contradictory to my opinions!